by Sister Helen Therese of Our Lady of Sorrows, OCD
Fascinating and mysterious, the Lord’s personal invitation to follow Him more closely is often difficult to capture in words. After nearly 50 years in Carmel, I still find myself in awe and wonder that Jesus would come to a child of 7 and through the inspiration of His grace, simply but clearly ask, “Would you like to be my Bride one day? Will you give Me your heart?” To which, with the unquestioning spontaneity of a child, I happily responded, “Oh, yes!” I then ran to share the good news with my mom. Never will I forget her smile as she looked at me amidst the clamor of my other eight siblings vying for her attention, and simply said, “That’s nice.” With those two words I felt both confirmation and approval. Still I would have to wait 10 long years to begin my actual journey.
As my father’s job led us to frequent changes of address, we never belonged to any particular parish, so I knew of no priest or sister to whom I could talk to about my vocation. While I intuitively knew that if the Lord calls you, He has a specific community in mind for you, it took a while to narrow down the choices. Through my love for Our Lady, I was eventually drawn to the Order of Carmel. However, I avoided looking at any cloistered contemplative monasteries as their requirements seemed too difficult for me. So as my last year of high school was ending, I was already in the process of entering an active Carmelite Community.
At this point the Lord again surprisingly intervened. He put into my hands the autobiography of St. Therese of Lisieux. I can no more explain my immediate reaction than one can explain how they suddenly realize they have fallen in love. The humble hidden life of prayer and self-sacrifice, such as Our Lady lived at Nazareth, offered to God through love, for the good of the Church, of all souls and especially for priests, corresponded to my heart’s deepest desires. I knew I had discovered where the Lord wanted me and all hesitations vanished. My family was the only “treasure” I possessed and it cost me dearly to leave them at 19 years of age, knowing I would never return home.
However, I felt Jesus was worth such a sacrifice and I have never regretted it. In fact, the bonds of love I have with my family have only grown stronger and deeper over the years. Even more beautiful is how through this love, the Lord gradually opened my understanding of “family.” Now I can honestly make my own what is so beautifully expressed in a document on cloistered life, Verbi Sponsa: “‘with the tenderness of Christ,’ nuns bear in their hearts the sufferings and anxieties of all those who seek their help…” Yes, my heart, my love and my prayers embrace without reserve, all whom Jesus has given me as “family.”
Entering Carmel was like entering a whole new world—full of challenges, but filled with many graces also. After six years of formation and preparation, the longed-for day arrived when through Solemn Profession I became in truth, the “Bride of Christ” forever! Achieving this goal though, was only the beginning of an ongoing spiritual adventure. For each day, in various ways, Jesus renews His request of old, “Will you give Me your heart?” And each day, relying on His grace, I do my best to respond with that same sincere “Yes!” with unbounded gratitude for the vocation He has given me.
Sister Helen Thereseof Our Lady of Sorrows, OCD is a member of The Discalced Carmelite Nuns of the Monastery of the Holy Cross in Iron Mountain.To learn more about a potential vocation with the Carmelite Nuns, visit their website at www.holycrosscarmel.com. You may also call (906) 774-0561 or write Monastery of the Holy Cross, P.O. Box 397, Iron Mountain, MI 49801.