The vocation process and discerning out

The U.P. Catholic

The process of discerning a vocation to the religious life is a careful and sometimes lengthy process. Sometimes, during that time, one may feel called to discern out of formation. Two women who discerned out of religious life, Erin Linderoth and Mary Jane Schwartz, shared about their time in religious life and what led to them eventually discerning out. Linderoth is currently a teacher at Father Marquette Catholic Academy in Marquette, while Schwartz is a teacher’s aide at Sacred Heart School in L’Anse.

Linderoth encountered the Nashville Dominicans at a Steubenville conference and was drawn to how they spoke about the love of Christ. She had felt called to be a sister and added that the calling had played a large part in her reversion. She discerned for about five years and joined the community of the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia in Nashville, Tenn., who highlight education and teaching as their charism.

What struck Linderoth the most about the order was the radical silence that the sisters lived out. The sisters observed silence for the entire day except for short 30-minute periods in the afternoon and evening or when teaching, and she said it helped stress the importance of praying unceasingly and talking to the Lord. “Memorizing Scripture and talking to the Lord is something I can do better now after having followed that and observing it in the convent,” she said.

About a year into her time at the convent, she began to feel called to discern out and brought it to the novice mistress, who said she should give it another six months to consider. After waiting out the six months, Linderoth concluded that she was in fact being called to discern out. “I had a deep knowledge that God was asking me to discern out and an interior peace along with it that was telling me, despite any fears I had around leaving, that God would take care of everything. And He absolutely did,” she said.

In her time at the convent, Linderoth received the religious name of Sister Catherine Grace, which she explained means “pure gift.”
“I had to come to terms with losing that name,” she said. “I came to the realization that my time there at the convent had been a ‘pure gift’ and if I kept grappling at it, it wouldn’t be a gift any longer.”

Like Linderoth, Schwartz’s calling included a focus on teaching. She felt called to a life of service, wanting to do some sort of service in a community to help the Church. “Looking at my strengths I thought I would enjoy being an elementary teacher and teaching children their catechism.” After research, she found that there were many religious orders where education and teaching are a part of their charism and mission in life, and discerned with the Franciscan Sisters of Christian Charity in Manitowoc, Wis. “I was drawn to their charism especially in the way the sisters strove to live out the Gospel in their everyday life, and then worked to bring the joy and love of Jesus Christ to others,” she said.

She had been discerning religious life for seven years. “One thing I most appreciated learning more deeply while in religious life was to live the lives of the saints,” she said. “This became an important part of my life when I was a novice. While in the novitiate I started reading more about St. Francis and St. Clare. During a retreat I was given this phrase by St. Clare to contemplate, “place your mind before the mirror of eternity… transform your entire being into the image of the Godhead itself through contemplation.” It struck me at that moment that I truly wanted to live out those words of being an “image of God” in my daily life.”

Schwartz was with the order for three years, but eventually felt it would be best to discern out. She is allergic to wheat and eggs and while the order did their best to accommodate her allergies, it was becoming increasingly difficult. “It had become clear that the difficulties my allergies presented in living a community life as well as my traditional leanings could not be managed in their community… I have a love of Catholic Tradition in areas of prayer and daily life and a respect for the Tridentine Mass. In prayer I realized this would be better served in a different community.”

“I strongly voice the importance of prayer, and following the guidance of the Holy Spirit,” Schwartz said. “Don’t be afraid to seek out a spiritual advisor you can trust and grow with.”

One phrase that helped Linderoth during her discernment process was a quote from St. John Paul II, “Do not be afraid. Open wide the doors for Christ.” She said, “I thought my greatest fiat was going into the convent, but it turned out that my greatest fiat was saying yes to discerning out.”

“Pray for guidance from the Holy Spirit with an open heart. Seek the advice of trusted people, such as parents and your spiritual advisor.  Also, realize that you aren’t alone, and there are places and people who can offer you aid and support,” Schwartz said.

“My last day in the convent, I had a vision in prayer of myself putting my life, plans, friends, family, and everything on the altar as a sacrifice to God on my entrance day,” Linderoth said. “But the day I left, it felt like Jesus had turned and put it all back into my arms, telling me that it was a gift He wanted to give back to me. I wanted more than anything to give God everything I had to give, but He told me that He has another way planned out for me to do so, one that I will one day understand.”

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