Family question and answer series: O’Brien Family

The U.P. Catholic

Hannah O’Brien shares thoughts on married life and raising young children in the Catholic faith.

Tell me about your family
Benjamin and I got married on July 21, 2018, in Laconia, N.H. We have three daughters, ages four and under. Before becoming a stay-at-home mom, I used to be an AMI Montessori teacher for ages three through six. Benjamin has made a career in the music world ranging from being a private music teacher, grade school music teacher at two Catholic schools, church organist and choir director and even pianist at an Italian restaurant playing mood music ranging from jazz standards to pop hits, Broadway numbers and classical pieces. He felt God calling him to consolidate his music jobs to one so he could prioritize time with a growing young family as well as focus his musical gifts to evangelize and elevate people’s relationship with God through sacred music—particularly in the context of the Most Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. Our whole family has been blessed to have been welcomed into the St. Peter Cathedral, and greater Diocese of Marquette, these past two years, which has allowed Benjamin to answer God’s call as the Director of Sacred Music for the diocese, despite the challenges of us moving far from family. We all love being outside and enjoy going on walks, hikes, and bike rides together. Our girls love being read to, and it is a goal for us as parents to let our kids see us reading books as a wholesome past time over constant use of media entertainment.
 
How does your Catholic faith inform your parenting and living out the Sacrament of marriage?
Our Catholic faith is central to our attitude of parenting.  We realize our role is ultimately to teach our children to be virtuous and to love and have a relationship with Jesus so one day we can all be happy with Him in Heaven (as the Catechism teaches).
This means leading by example, and that includes letting our kids see us, their parents, kneeling down before our little family altar at home in prayer most nights, and going to confession at least once a month, and correcting poor behaviors lovingly, consistently, and firmly.

We believe teaching our children to be obedient to their parents enables them to be obedient to God and thus makes them free to love—unhampered by say, selfishness. The world would have us believe that loving parents should be best friends who let their children have and do whatever they want, but this leads to children becoming subject to every passing whim or desire without the ability to mature and discern if something would actually be good for them.  

What is your favorite family tradition in the liturgical year?
As Christmas approaches (a fact our four-year-old frequently reminds us of), one of our favorite family traditions comes to mind: setting up Christmas decorations, including a nativity set with everyone present except for baby Jesus. Then Christmas morning, before opening presents, we read the birth of Jesus passages from the Bible, then we sing Away in a Manger as one of our children places baby Jesus in the manger. This is something I have very fond memories of growing up in my own family and brings an extra level of joy when doing it with my own little family.

In this time of Eucharistic Revival, how is your family drawing closer to Jesus in the Eucharist?
One way we are teaching our children faith in and devotion to the True Presence of our Eucharistic Lord is by making sure they genuflect whenever we pass in front of the tabernacle whether we are in the front of the church or the back—bending your right knee if He is not exposed and both knees if He is exposed for adoration. It was something that really made an impression on me as a child when my dad would stop us and remind us who we were passing by and how we should acknowledge that presence—with a loving devotion and humbling oneself in acknowledgment.  

What advice do you have for Catholics discerning marriage and family?
If you are discerning a vocation to the married life, remember it is a calling from God—He will give you the grace for it in the present moment. Don’t be afraid of the challenges (i.e. let your husband be the head of the house as Jesus is the head of the church, be open to life—possibly multiple kids, which will require you to self-sacrifice and let go of some of your, perhaps good, but self-centered desires). Stay close to Him. Make time for prayer so you can meet the challenges of the day with the correct and clear mindset needed to accomplish the tasks in a way that will bring you closer to Him. If you do, it will be a beautiful vocation that will give your whole life deep meaning and purpose.

Since it is a path to sanctification and ultimately heaven, it will necessarily take daily work. Tell your spouse you need their help—such as reminders and encouragement for our family to pray, go to confession, and find opportunities to grow in faith. Try to see these challenges as opportunities to show God how much you love Him instead of personal inconveniences. Fr. Chad Ripperger says that any particular struggle you run up against is probably what God wants you to be most known for in Heaven. I find that extremely encouraging. We challenge our kids to make them better, so too does God challenge us. He has a plan for you, “...plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” -Jer. 29:11.

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